We don’t eat out much, and when we do we often order the lower-priced entrees (unless it’s something we’ve really been wanting). However, I feel very strongly about tipping properly.

Some people don’t tip very much, but I see the tip as part of the cost of the food. Restaurants don’t have to pay their workers the average minimum wage (though there is a minimum wage for restaurants too) because we’re expected to pay part of the wage directly. While it started out as something voluntary, the minimum wage requirements make it an part of life, of being a decent person who pays for things.

When I read about frugal dining on blogs, I often see at least one ranting comment from a disgruntled server who’s angry with cheap people.

What I tip tends to depend on the service, but I don’t think I’ve ever tipped less than 15%. For me, that’s mediocre/bad service. Because the person still brought me my food, right? (if wrong, feel free to adjust that) And the food’s price doesn’t include their basic wages.

Anyway, I’ve come up with a strategy which lets me tip generously without spending more. It’s all in budgeting ahead of time.

When I go out, I come up with a specific number we’re going to spend. For the PF blogger get-togethers, for instance, I budget about $10. As a general rule, I order something that comes to $4-6. Sodas are free, since it’s happy hour. But I tip based on what I might otherwise have ordered…or what the soda would have cost.

So my tip is that remaining $4-6.

To figure it out ahead of time you need to have a good idea of the average price of whatever it is you’re ordering. And what you really will order. Then budget at least 20% of that for the tip. If the service is good, give the remainder of your budgeted amount…whether it comes to exactly 20% or 25% or even 40%.

If you can’t afford the 20%, then figure out what you can do to change it. Maybe plan to get something less expensive. Maybe put it off.

Now getting into my own philosophy: Beyond the basic 20%, I think that when you’re ordering something particularly cheap, you should tip based on the average price (if possible). Like getting water and the cheapest entree…then tip based on a slightly more expensive entree and perhaps a soda. They’re still putting in the same effort as they would with something more expensive.

This philosophy has some pitfalls…particularly if your server treats you poorly because they figure you’re cheap (less expensive meal) and therefore you’re not going to tip them. Still, you could always still tip them and challenge their assumptions.

Of course, this is just my philosophy. It’s more about creating some good in the world than strict economics. But what’s wrong with being a good human?

No matter how you handle eating out, just remember to plan for a 20% tip. If you can’t afford it, then you can’t afford to eat there. Pick someplace cheaper or get fast food instead. Or put it off until you can snowflake in a little more money.

And happy Mother’s day to all the mothers out there. Through some twist of fate called “I’m not a mother and am low on the library totem pole because I’m newer,” I will be working this afternoon and will l therefore neither be visiting my own mother or my MIL. (I should make sure Micah told her.)

I’ve seen a number of posts this week about really celebrating Mother’s day and not just making it a time to give an expensive gift. They’ve talked about spending time with Mom and letting her know how much you love her.

Fortunately, Mother’s day isn’t the only day out of the year that you can show your mom how much you love her. We’re time-shifting Mother’s day by a week, which should work. And each of our moms is getting special presents—-and we’re going to spend time with them. We’ll go to church with his mom, since she loves to have us there. Then lunch. Then dinner/evening with my family.

But Mother’s day shouldn’t be once a year. I’m fortunate enough to love my mom a LOT. That’s probably because she was an awesome mom growing up and continues to be, even though I’m farther away. There are a million ways to let your mom know any day how much you love her (if you do, maybe your mom sucked…it could happen).

Phone calls, e-mails, visits, especially if you’re in the area. For free calling, sign up with Skype. If you’ve both got good internet connections and microphone headsets (which can be acquired cheaply and are a one-time expense) you can have long conversations for free. Or maybe you have unlimited in-network calling with your cell phone providers.

I sometimes feel sad that I talk with my mom less now that I’m not living with her. But we do carry on conversations via the blog and e-mail and the occasional phone call.

It doesn’t have to be every day, but it can be any day. So if you can’t celebrate Mother’s day for some reason, don’t just wait until next year. You might as well start working on a date that’ll work for both of you or plan a phone call or e-mail her. Just stay in touch. That’ll mean the world.

(Incidentally, this is also my Mother’s birthday, which made me particularly disappointed not to be able to go up. However, nobody switches shifts for Mother’s day and I’m not comfortable just skipping work.)

For some other Mother’s day posts, try:

PaidTwice is reflecting on marketing and Mother’s day. They got to her!!

Jeff of MySuperChargedLife has come up with some things he thinks moms would really like for Mother’s day. I think he’s probably right.

Pinyo came up with some gift ideas…if you’re still looking! Patrick has more frugal but thoughtful gift ideas. Lazy Man suggests you give her what she actually wants…which may not be expensive diamonds.

No, you don’t have to have a million dollars to start out…but Jim from Blueprint for Financial Prosperity asked a bunch of us what we’d do with a million dollars. Most of us came up with standard answers involving paying off debt, buying houses, helping people, etc.

Like you, most of us don’t have that million dollars just lying around. And it’s unlikely we’ll ever get a million dollars all at once. Answering seemed almost silly.

Still, I think it’s a good exercise. It helps us put together our goals, our hopes, helps us figure out what we really want. Over our lifetime, we will probably earn something close to that. $500,000, $1 million, $5 million, $500,000 million (ok, maybe not that).

That money comes in and out of our lives. Some of it is spent on our everyday needs. The million dollar question seems to assume that we’ve already got the basics covered (unless “retire now” is on the list). But generally there’s more than we need.

So coming up with our “if I had a million” is actually a great starting point. But instead of answering and dropping it, let’s keep going.

If I had a million dollars I’d pay off our debt, buy a house, help my parents finish their mortgage, give some away, and invest. I’m super-boring that way. Maybe your plans involve traveling the world and starting a quilting business. Or maybe they’re like mine.

So what does that mean for how I live?

Well, it means that we try to avoid new debt. It means that we put more money than necessary towards paying off the debt because that’s part of our goals. It means that in the future we’ll be saving up for a down payment when we’re ready for a house. It means that we’ll keep giving now and hopefully give even more later. It means we’ll invest.

I would probably also get a new laptop and some fabric, which are both short-term achievable goals. So when I decide the time is right, I can start saving up for them.

The only thing that I won’t be able to do is help my parents with their mortgage. If we had more than enough, I’d like to help them out since they’re getting near the end. But by the time we have that kind of money I expect it’ll be paid off. Or they might not even be living there anymore.

So not willing a million dollars isn’t a big problem for my dreams. I just have to learn to live with what I’ve got and what is still to come.

Some ways to optimize your the million dollars you’ve got coming into your life:

1. Don’t take on debt you don’t need. Paying finance charges makes your purchase a lot more expensive.

2. Prioritize. Some things, like food and rent and a little fun, are important now. Sometimes you have to buy a new computer. But when buying things, ask whether it’s part of your million dollar spending plan.

3. Plan. Have a million dollar spending plan. If you’re going to achieve your goals, you have to know what they are. You can come up with time frames, dollar amounts, whatever works for you. At this point the only part of my big plan I’m working on is giving and paying off debt. And a little investing. As things change, I’ll start coming up with new plans.

4. Enjoy it. Don’t stress about your money. Unless you’re having trouble making ends meet…getting rich slowly isn’t a crisis. We all have more than enough stress already in our lives, adding to it isn’t constructive. If you want to make more money, look for sensible ways to do so (i.e. get rich quick is a bad idea). But don’t let your goals become a prison.

What are your million dollar plans? Are they just a vague idea in your head, or are you ready to turn them into something concrete?

Yesterday morning after checking the weather, I was faced with an uncomfortable choice. Either I could wait to catch the bus in a thunderstorm and then walk the rest of the way home through that thunderstorm or I could spend an extra 2 hours waiting at the library until Micah came to pick me up.

Those were my options since we only have one car. And the bus route requires a bit under a mile of walking (though I often stretch it to a mile and a half on good days). On rainy or snowy days, the shorter walk is particularly miserable since it goes by a fast-moving road and I often get sprayed with puddle water or slush from the passing cars.

But short of hitching a ride home with a coworker (and few coworkers work my half-day schedule) those were my two options.

I ended up waiting at the library because the rain was pretty heavy at that point. It wasn’t bad, I spent an hour on the internet (and being limited to exactly an hour is great for productivity!) and got a little reading done. I got picked up by my handsome husband and got to see him in his suit. Normally he changes right after getting home.

But as a rule I prefer the comfort of being able to go straight home from work, kick off my shoes, and start doing…well work but other work. Being somewhere other than the public library.

If we had a second car, I could have done that today. Or better yet, since we don’t need a second car 99% of the time, I could have gotten a cab. A cab when it’s really bad and the bus when it’s ok would be quite pleasant. I enjoy my walks on the sunny days and even get off the bus early.

And that’s what getting out of debt is about. That’s what all personal finance is about. It’s about freedom. You can be making $100,000k a year but if you have a personal debt of $250,000 you aren’t really free.

In the same way, it would have been financially irresponsible of me to call a cab when I didn’t have any reason to believe that getting home early could make up for the price of a cab and more. That’s not where we are in our spending right now.

Someday we may be debt free or richer and still have only one car. But my plan, my goal is that we’ll be in a situation where I can call a cab without worrying about the budget instead of walking home in the rain.

What do you want freedom for? Convenience? Buying a second home? Spending more time with your family?

Discovered a fun recipe in The Frugal Gourmet Cooks Three Ancient Cuisines: China, Greece, and Rome this week. I hadn’t used it until now, but I got it for free so I’d kept it around. This gem of a recipe makes that decision worth while.

I served the meatballs with plain brown rice and broccoli, along with a dash of soy sauce. Also, instead of using a fryer, I mixed cooking oil and natural peanut butter in a deep frying pan…just enough to coat the meatballs…and cooked it that way. I don’t know if it’s healthier, but it felt that way. It was also more convenient. You may have to do two shifts, however.

Ingredients:

Meat and spices:
1.5-2lbs ground chicken or turkey (turkey happened to be cheaper)
1/2 tsp pepper (he specifies white pepper, we didn’t have it)
1/2 tsp salt (it’s important, remember? )
2 TB cornstarch
1 TB soy sauce (or more if you like)
2 egg whites (we left these out since we didn’t have eggs, no biggie)
1/2 tsp freshly grated ginger. Or 1/4 tsp ground.
2 tsp cooking sherry or vinegar
4 cloves crushed garlic (I used 2)

Coating:
1 cup cornstarch
1 cup water-chestnut flour…if desired.

4 cups peanut oil for frying. Or 1 cup natural peanut butter and 2TB cooking oil.

Cooking:

1. Rinse ground poultry and put in mixing bowl. Add all spice/vinegar/egg/2TB cornstarch ingredients. Mix thoroughly. By hand, unless you really need a mixer.

2. Put 2 cups cornstarch (or 1 cup with 1 cup of the other flour if you’d like) in a smaller mixing bowl.

3. Roll the meat mixture into meatballs of desired size. Roll each meatball in the starch/flour.

4. Either put them to deep fry in several batches in 360 degree oil until balls float and are golden brown (5) or… Put 1/2-2/3 of peanut butter and oil in frying pan. Add balls and make sure they’re coated. Fry for as long as necessary…make sure that a few are well-cooked all the way through. Then taste for flavor. Repeat with reserved peanut butter and oil and any meatballs that didn’t fit. If they’ll all fit, no need for stages.

Didn’t take too long to make and wonderfully yummy. It’s hard for me to believe how good they tasted…I had mild expectations. Micah and his sister also loved them. They’ve got a definite nutty flavor and the ginger and soy sauce go with it quite well.

Let me know how this turns out for you!